By John Cullum

"In the spring of 1959, after a couple of wonderful, wild years in the Big Apple, I found myself in Texas -- a member of the Dallas Regertory Theatre. I got a call from director Philip Lawrence, who had used me as a non-Equity actor in several productions for The New York Shakespearewrights. He was directing a new play called THE JACKASS. The script had been cobbled together from several radio dramas by Swiss playwright, Friedrich Durrenmatt. There was a "nice" part for me and Phil suggested that I fly back from Dallas immediately since rehearsals were to begin the next week. The hooker was the promise of an Equity card. That, of course, was too good to pass up. THE JACKASS claimed to have the largest budget for an off-Broadway production up till that time, and opened, as I recall, to unanimously bad reviews. The second night Maggie Hall, one the female leads, burst into the men's dressing room at curtain time and exclaimed, "Oh, my God, there are only two people out there in the house!" One of the actors groaned, "My aunties from Scranton." Dom DeLuise, playing the title role said, "I refuse to make a jackass of myself for the sake of two "freebies" from Pennsylvania. Still in makeup, the entire cast, along with Philip, the producers, and the two aunties, left the theater, went to the nearest bar, and we all go plastered. That's how I got my Equity Card."